Can't be bothered Spring Cleaning? Neither can we! Hope this cheeky check list helps motivate you...

It's Spring time mother fuckers and you know what they means...it's time to dust off the dusters, cull the clothes and do all the annoying cuntnuggetty jobs that nobody can be arsed to do.

We've even come up with a Clean The Fuck Up Spring Cleaning Check List below to help you complete a range of tasks to get your house looking the bee's fucking knees. We have also included this check list in a fucking fancy PDF, that you can print off, stick to the fridge and tick off as you go. 

Kitchen Language Clean the Fuck Up Spring Cleaning Check List

Kitchen

  1. Clean out your filthy fucking fridge and freezer, chuck out the expired shit, wipe down the shelves and restack
  2.  Clean the crusty shit out of your cupboards inside and out
  3.  Give the inside of the manky microwave and oven a good fucking scrub
  4.  Empty the cunty crumbs out of the toaster
  5.  Pull every fucking thing out of the pantry, chuck out the expired shit, wipe down the shelves and only put the good shit back

 Living/Dining Room

  1. Wash your filthy cushion covers
  2. Pull the cushions off your couch and clean the base, hopefully you'll find a couple of coins
  3. Clean chairs and table tops
  4. If you’re a fancy fucker, polish your posh shit
  5. Clean your crusty carpets

Bedroom

  1. Go through your clothes and shoes and donate the good shit you no longer wear and cut up the holey shit up for cleaning rags
  2. Fucking flip or rotate your mattress
  3. Tackle that random fucking drawer/cupboard and put stuff back in its proper place and throw out the other shit
  4. Wash your actual pillows and doona (not the pillow cases and doona covers, you filty fuckers, you should be doing that at least every fortnight) or send them to the dry cleaner 
  5. Clean your curtains and blinds 

Bathroom 

  1. Clean out the bathroom cabinets-chuck out shit you don’t use anymore and return old expired medicines to your local chemist
  2. Wash your manky toothbrush holders
  3. Scrub the shit out of your bath and shower
  4. Give the toilet a good fucking clean, wipe down the outside and around the base
  5. Give the grout a good fucking scrubbing

Laundry

  1. Scrub down the laundry sink
  2. Clean the washing machine
  3. Sort out your fucking cleaning cupboard
  4. Clean the mankiness out of the dryer vent
  5. Empty the fucking lint trap

All Rooms

  1. Dust every-fucking-where
  2. Clean manky fucking mirrors, windows and window sills
  3. Wipe the shit off the skirting boards
  4. Move shit that can be moved and vacuum and mop
  5. Sanatise your gross sticky door handles, taps and light switches

Other

  1. Get rid of cunty cobwebs, inside and outside the house
  2. Change the batteries in smoke alarms
  3. Wash your bins out to get rid of fucking gross bin juice stains
  4. Get out in the sunshine and yank out some weeds
  5. Clean up the garage and sell some shit you no longer use or need to get some sweet sweet cash!

So there you have have it...By the time you have worked through this list, your house should be sparkly clean and you will be cuntstruck by your own magnificence! 

That's enough for now, this Arseclown is all out of words and in need of a nice cold boozy refreshment.

Cheers,

Kit