Shit Dad Jokes
With Father's Day approaching we thought it would be fun to share some of our favourite Shit Dad jokes.
Get ready to giggle (or more likely roll your eyes!)
"I used to hate facial hair...
...then it grew on me."
"I only know 25 letters of the alphabet...
...I don't know Y."
"Want to hear a joke about pizza?
...Never mind, it's too cheesy."
"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer...
...I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."
"Why don't skeletons fight each other?
...They don't have the guts."
"I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high...
...She looked surprised."
"Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
...Great food. No atmosphere."
"I wouldn't buy anything with Velcro...
...it's a total rip-off."
"I used to be addicted to soap...
...but I'm clean now."
"Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
...He was outstanding in his field."
"I accidentally swallowed some food colouring...
...The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside."
"I ordered a chicken and an egg online...
...I'll let you know."
"I tell dad jokes...
...sometimes he laughs."
"How do you organise a space party?
...You planet."
"I used to work in a shoe recycling shop...
...It was sole destroying."
"Why don't eggs tell jokes?
...They'd crack each other up."
"What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?
...Sofishticated."
"Why can't you trust stairs?
...They're always up to something."
"What do you call fake spaghetti?
...An impasta."
"I'm reading a book on anti-gravity...
...can't put the fucker down."
"I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went...
...then it dawned on me."
"Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?
...He made a mint."
"I named my dog Five Miles...
...so I can tell people I walk Five Miles every day."
Did any of these give you a giggle? We fucking hope so!
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